


Gut Check

by GWhite



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23345953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GWhite/pseuds/GWhite
Summary: Everything she had thought and felt about Jack O’Neill has been clarified in one gut wrenching, heart stopping, breath sucking moment.Season 1 and Season 4 spoilers, maybe, maybe not?I don’t have a beta, so all errors are mine.Stargate doesn’t belong to me.Edited to add Relationships and Characters.  I didn’t realize I hadn’t done that
Relationships: Samantha “Sam” Carter/Jack O’Neill
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Gut Check

GUT CHECK

_SAM_

Everything she had thought and felt about Jack O’Neill had been clarified in one gut wrenching, heart stopping, breath sucking moment. Clarity about an issue was always good. Right? After all, she knew she was about to die and Jack O’Neill stood rooted on the other side of a force field, refusing to leave with her trapped there.

She had already been reassigned from the Stargate Project to Research and Development at the Pentagon when Catherine Langford had slipped her a copy of the mission report from the first trip to Abydos.

It had been a terrible year. She’d been removed from a project she’d brought from almost nothing to near activation, then had it ripped away. She’d been called to what served as HR to be told she’d been reassigned, to turn in her authorized personnel badge, “provided” a security guard to watch her fill a single cardboard box with her personal belongings, then escort her ignominiously through the hallways at Cheyenne Mountain, up two elevators to the surface, through security to her car and ensure that she drove off the base. Later, when she read the mission report from a blow-it-up-and-ask-questions-later special ops colonel, she had seen red. She had been angry, angry at the fool that gave the order but mostly at the colonel who followed it. What kind of human being blew up a whole civilization? She hacked his personnel file. 

He was educated, actually an Academy grad, had a BA in Aeronautical Engineering, a Master of Strategic Studies from the Air War College, as well as the lengthy Special Ops training. His duty assignments were about what she expected, but the number of redacted entries had sent her digging (ok, hacking) deeper into the classified records. What she’d found there had given her a queasy stomach, nightmares, and a grudging respect. She dug her way into his medical records and fitness reports, where the (almost) final entry had declared him suicidal after his son’s death, declared him unfit for duty and forced him into early retirement. 

She had no doubt by then why Jack O’Neill had been reactivated and sent through the Stargate. General West wanted someone who didn’t care if they came back. He had given everything, and his country had given him ashes in return. 

A year later she walked into a briefing room at Cheyenne Mountain and found herself saluting that same Colonel Jonathan J O’Neill, who had had no problem expressing his unhappiness at having her assigned to his team. Four years later she had cycled through wariness, to hero worship and on to a galaxy-sized crush on her CO. She was pretty sure that was one-sided though. He’d never given any indication of having feelings for her, even walked away from her to another woman, but she knew he found her attractive. They did a little dance around a flirtation, but that was all. It was enough, though, to make her worry about frat regs and the usual gossip about how she obtained her rank. It wasn’t easy being a woman in the military. She knew she had to get over her apparently one-sided infatuation. It was only a silly schoolgirl thing. 

Then she found herself trapped on one side of a force field and the Colonel on the other. Her heart had plummeted and cold had gripped her insides, and she’d realized the truth. She _knew_ him, his caustic humor, the intelligence he hid, his self loathing and perceived inadequacies, that he would always put the welfare of those he commanded above his own, that he believed in serving and accepted self sacrifice as the price to save others, that he cared deeply but hid it, that he had horrible nightmares about his past, his son. She did not want him to die, not for her, because she loved him.

She saw in his eyes the moment he realized that he couldn’t leave her to die alone, not because she was a teammate, a fellow soldier, but because he loved her. She died a little inside, knowing that her death would be the cause of his. She barely heard the stomping footsteps of the Jaffa over the pounding of her heart.

Then the C4 they’d set exploded. The force field dropped. She was free. She shoved her fear and new-found knowledge down as far as she could, hiding it even from herself and ran for her life, following her CO to the gate. 

Later, during the debriefing at the SGC, she reported hitting the force field, the armband falling off, and being trapped until the explosion. She didn’t allow herself to remember anything else. 

  
_JACK_

He’d tried. God, he’d tried. He’d pounded and pulled at the box protecting the field release with all his strength. She was standing on the other side of the force field he couldn’t take down, staring at him with fear in her eyes. It slammed his gut with heat and filled him with cold dread at the same instant he realized her fear was for him. He stood there, knowing he’d failed to save her, that she was going to die, poleaxed by the realization he loved her, would rather be dead with her than be alive without her. 

He’d known he was in trouble as soon as she walked into the conference room that first day. She was every bit of the two things he didn’t want to deal with - a smart-mouthed scientist, and woman. Not that he didn’t like women. He liked women, especially the really smart, strong, leggy kind. He just didn’t want to deal with the scientist part. They never knew when to shut up, and they weren’t trained for field ops, both of which could get you killed. 

Hammond hadn’t given him an option though, so he’d done the best he could with what he’d been handed. A quick look at her file showed her Phd in Theoretical Astrophysics, the time she’d spent in the Gulf, that she wasn’t joking about pulling those g’s, that she’d been assigned to the Stargate program, had written the dial-up program, and brought the program to the edge of activation, then been transferred to the Pentagon almost over night. He had no doubt she was deep down pissed about that, and even more pissed that she hadn’t been on that first trip through the gate (he thought it was a good thing she hadn’t been there). He figured she thought she had something to prove. Well, she’d been assigned to his team, and he was going to give her a chance to prove she could pull her weight. In fact, after he thought about it, it might be interesting. 

So they’d gone through the gate, himself, Carter, Kowalsky, Ferrety, and the rest, and returned with a grieving but determined archeologist, a Jaffa, and an uninvited snake hitching a ride in his best friend. It hadn’t taken long for him to learn to trust in her ability to pull their butts out alive, to depend on her to watch their six, to admire her concentration as she worked out a problem or figured out how some doohickey worked. Hell, he even forgave her for nearly killing him trying to set his broken leg in Antarctica. He could listen to her talk about her work for hours (ok, he wasn’t really listening, he was just watching those lips move and how her eyes lit up).

Now, here they stood, separated by a force field he couldn’t take down, no matter how hard he tried. He could see her fear for him because he wouldn’t leave her there, and the minute her eyes widened when she realized she loved him. And that she knew the minute he realized he loved her, too, that he would rather die with her than leave her there to die alone. He could barely hear the stomping footsteps of the Jaffa over the pounding of his heart.

Then the C4 exploded. The force field dropped. Shoving his feelings into a dark compartment and slamming the door, he ran for the gate, making sure she was with him. He didn’t leave his people behind.

Later, during the debriefing at the SGC, he’d given a concise report of SG-1’s actions getting to and away from Apophis’ ship, taken full responsibility for the actions of his team, that Carter had been freed from the force field by the explosion, and SG-1 had escaped back through the gate, registering again his “no thanks to the Tok’ra”. He was sure he’d reported everything. He’d learned years ago not to look into his locked rooms. 

**Author's Note:**

> Finally. I’ve had this one sitting around forever. It’s as finished as it’s going to get.


End file.
